Good bye PUKING!!!!!

I write this post with tears in my eyes, tears that are really beyond tears of joy, God has set me free from a stonghold in my life. Some of you know bits about my story and other know nothing. For about 6 years I suffered from anxiety or panic attacks. These attacks would occur at any time and sometimes were debilitating. Even going out for dinner with my closets friends would bring on anxiety attacks that would send me running for the nearest washroom to throw up. It was easier to stay home. Well, about two and a half years ago, (Sept. 13Th, 2004 to be exact) God healed me of my anxiety. This was the day I left for my trip to Ecuador. Since I have been back I have been adjusting to this new found freedom from anxiety, and it's been weird but very cool. It's been almost two years since I've been back and there was a couple of situations that I've probably subconsciously been avoiding. These situations would be the biggest triggers for an anxiety attack and would bring on the worst attacks (involving throwing up in parking lots, pulling over on the road to throw up etc). And I guess in the back of my mind I doubted how real or how much God healed me. Did his healing in my life have a limit? Why would I really deserve this healing? Well, in the last couple of weeks I have found myself in these situations. And in my sinful human nature I doubted God's faithfulness and his healing in my life. God gently reminded me of his love and patience with me. My life verse is Philippians 4: 6&7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request before God, and the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard your heart in Christ Jesus". God covered me with an amazing peace in these situations. I had a "normal" level of nervousness and at some points was totally relaxed. It was the strangest most foreign feeling for me, it was liberating. I am truly thank God for the years that I suffered with anxiety, they were the hardest most frustrating years but they brought me to my knees in front of Jesus. I was 100% helpless and had to learn to rely on God. And he has carried me through and has shown me his faithfulness, despite my doubts. He sent me angels disguised as friends, who really let me lean on them and they carried me through with their prayers, they fought on my behalf when I couldn't fight on my own; and I know they are still praying for me. It's been such growing process and I know that God is beyond amazing and will always be there to hold my hand and carry me through; my doubts are nothing compared to God's love and compassion for me. He has healed me and I am eternally thankful to him and give all the glory to him!!!!!!

The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith,
the beginning of true faith is the END of anxiety!!!

- George Mullen